I am sharing my favorite books on grief. I received many that were not helpful, and I’m not sure how I found the books that were helpful. I only knew I had found what I was looking for once I saw them. Well-meaning Christian therapists wrote all the other books I had received. They admitted they hadn’t had a traumatic loss. They were writing on grief theory and how to help us move forward. I was looking for experiences closer to my understanding of sudden loss, not from a theory-only based author.
Whether you are new on your grief journey or have been struggling for months or even years, I’m here to say there is nothing wrong with you and your journey. Too often, I found well-meaning friends who tried to help me move forward through my grief. I even had someone tell me they would be glad when I could look at my son’s death anniversary time as just another day so I wouldn’t feel the need to take the time off from work.
How often has someone spoken or written to you asking how you are doing or sharing advice and articles about “moving forward” in your grief? What does moving forward actually mean anyway? Does moving forward mean you were able to get out of bed today? Does it mean that maybe you went a whole day without a tear or having constant thoughts about the person you lost?
The books I’m about to share are to help normalize your grief and share you are not alone and that there is not something wrong with you if you are on a grief journey that no one seems to understand.
My Favorite Books On Grief
I want to introduce you to Megan Devine, the author of several books, one of which is It’s OK That You’re Not OK. Megan witnessed the traumatic death of her partner and shares her experience on her grief journey. She also debunks popular thoughts and unrealistic ideas about how one should grieve. One of my favorite quotes from Megan is, “Some things can not be fixed; they can only be carried.”
Megan was already a psychotherapist who met with people who were experiencing trauma, stress, and even grief. I remember one passage in her book she said that she felt like she needed to go back and apologize for the advice she gave people on a grief journey now that she was experiencing a loss that appeared to have turned her world upside down. This is definitely one of my favorite books on grief!
Another book by Megan is more like a prompted journal. I love it! Learning to express how you feel on paper is an excellent way to get your thoughts and feelings down without having to think about a topic to write about. Megan’s prompts are thoughtfully written with much supportive text around them. This book is beautifully illustrated, as shown below. It’s titled “How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed: A Journal for Grief.”
At this time, I am currently in Megan’s Grief Coaching Certification program. I received a grief certification in 2024 to add to my wellness coach training. I am also training as a Trauma-Informed Coach. These programs are not only helping me in my grief journey but are giving me the tools to support you with credible information.
I align with these grief teachings. There is no time limit on grief. I believe the Kubler-Ross stages of grief do not apply to a grief journey. The initial purpose of Kubler-Ross’s work was to help patients be informed of a terminal illness and identify different stages these patients seemed to have in common. Some still hold to these philosophies today; however, the coaching programs I have completed and am currently taking do not apply this specific framework to grief. This was honestly comforting to me.
You will begin to see how our society does not teach or know how to support people on a grief journey. Our culture applauds those who “can move on quickly from their grief.” We, as a culture, have felt shame for our grief journey, like there is something wrong with us for griefing. Where there is great love, there is great grief.
I highly recommend these books, especially the journal How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed and It’s OK That You’re Not OK, which should be purchased as a paperback rather than a Kindle book.
Living Whole ~ Joycelynn
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