Letting Go of What No Longer Serves Us

The Clutter We Carry

Clutter isn’t just physical objects. Clutter can be emotional, mental, and spiritual as well. There’s a kind of clutter we can’t always see. It lives not only on our countertops and in our closets but also in our hearts and minds. Whether it’s an old sweater from a different season of life or a belief that once protected us but now holds us back, clutter can quietly accumulate and weigh us down. And often, behind it lies something deeper—trauma that hasn’t had a safe place to land.

Trauma and the Roots of Holding On

Trauma—whether sudden or long-standing—can leave us feeling unsafe in our own skin. In the aftermath, we reach for things that give us a sense of control or comfort. We keep items to preserve memories, identities, or a sense of security. Trauma imprints the nervous system with a message: “Hold on. You might need this.” Even when healing begins, the residue remains in our drawers, garages, and emotional patterns.

Before researching how trauma is related to the clutter we accumulate, I shrugged it off as rebelling against my own upbringing. Our rooms had to be perfect before Mom would take us on a promised outing. I do not remember us being spontaneous. I remember longing to get up on a Saturday morning, and Mom just saying, “What do you all want to do today“? Everything was planned out, and we didn’t leave until the rooms were spotless. I also remember thinking, as a mom, I want to have fun with my kids without putting them through all this.

When Clutter Becomes a Coping Mechanism

It’s easy to judge clutter, but often it’s a form of self-protection. That stack of papers might represent a time when you felt useful. The overflowing pantry could be a response to a season when there wasn’t enough. Our outer world begins to echo the chaos or grief within. Holding on can feel safer than the vulnerability of letting go—even when what we’re holding onto is causing harm.

Now that I look back on my life, I do not remember feeling this way until we had moved out to the country. I was twelve. It was also the year I started being bullied. My nervous system was being attacked for the first time, and I didn’t know how to handle the overwhelming feeling that something was wrong with me. I now realize I was internalizing my pain. My hormones were changing, and I was tall, lanky, and awkward.

Recognizing What No Longer Serves Us

Not everything we keep still serves us. Some things, once sacred, have become burdens. One powerful way to begin the process of release is through reflection. Ask yourself:

• What am I holding onto that feels heavy?
• Does this bring me peace or keep me tied to pain?
• If I let this go, what might I gain?

This awareness is the beginning of healing—not through force, but through gentle, sacred curiosity.

I remember when I first found Marie Kondo’s work in 2016. I didn’t know why I held onto stuff or why I wasn’t an organized housekeeper. I probably had every book on organizing and cleaning a home ever published. I was reading more about what clutter was doing to my emotional health and the baggage it was causing in my life. Her work of keeping only what brought me joy sparked a bit of life in me. I began to go through our home and get rid of SO much accumulated stuff. I took pictures of the cleared and cleaned rooms. I remember how freeing the feelings were. I was finally living in a peaceful environment. I had found the answer…until our son died.

Slowly, the clutter returned. I began to accumulate stuff again. I would come home from work every day and vegetate in the recliner. I retreated inward. I bought things. The clutter became overwhelming. Depression overtook me. It wasn’t until the past year that I began to see articles related to the symptoms of holding onto trauma. I took free assessments. The bullying at age twelve was my first experience of trauma. Rejection in a relationship added to my trauma. Stress and narcissistic leaders in the health care system added to my trauma. I did not realize trauma was accumulating in my life. I didn’t know this was slowly killing me from the inside out. I held onto things. This was the only control I felt I had over my life.

I did not know how to let go of what I was accumulating physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually…until I was taking a trauma-informed coaching certification program. The trauma all the way from childhood triggered me so badly that I had to find a way to heal. I realized this was what was wrong.

The Courage to Release

Letting go is not giving up. It is choosing freedom over fear. Releasing what no longer serves you makes space for what does. You may find yourself weeping as you clear out a drawer—not just for the things but the life attached to them. That is holy work. Be proud of each step. It’s okay if it takes time. It’s OK if it’s hard. But know this: healing begins with release.

Releasing people who have wronged us takes this healing to a new level. This is the level our spirit needs and is crying out for. After being triggered by unreleased trauma, I began to realize I needed to find answers. I knew I could not do this alone. I didn’t have it within me to forgive and let go. This was going to have to be a supernatural healing.

I experienced freedom from my past emotional traumas, forgiveness from those who hurt me, and closed doors I had opened to the enemy’s plan to destroy my purpose in life. I do not have a program for this process at this time, but I have resources for you if this resonates with you. Just reach out, and I will connect you with programs that will help set you free.

Steps Toward Letting Go With Grace

You don’t need to overhaul your whole life overnight. Begin small and with intention. Here are a few gentle steps for letting go of physical and emotional clutter:

• Start with one area. A drawer. A bag. A thought.
• Use affirmations. “I release this with love.” “I am safe without this.”
• Honor what it meant. Gratitude softens the letting go.
• Replace the void with life-giving things. A journal, a devotional, a breath.
• Go through an inner healing program. This will heal the broken places, which are most likely the source of your holding on to physical and emotional clutter.

Healing clutter is not about tidiness—it’s about transformation.

Faith, Freedom, & Moving Forward

Scripture invites us to forget the former things and to see that God is doing something new (Isaiah 43:18–19). Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting. It means honoring the past, making peace with it, and walking into a future that isn’t dictated by it. As you make room in your life—physically and emotionally—you also make room for God’s presence, healing, and provision.

It’s been eight years since my son died. After I experienced healing, both emotionally and spiritually, I’m rereleasing physical clutter in my home. Things that no longer serve me are donated to a local thrift store that donates to charity. I am also giving things away to people I know will enjoy and appreciate what I no longer use or want.

An Invitation to Heal

Take a moment today. Choose one small thing—an object, a belief, a burden—and ask if it still serves the healed version of you God is forming. If not, offer it up. Release it in love. You are not alone in this process; you don’t have to be perfect to begin.

If this resonates with you, I invite you to journal your experience, share your thoughts in the comments, or join me in a deeper healing journey through one of my resources or upcoming workshops.

Living Whole ~ Joycelynn